WTF

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I feel ashamed...

...and that why I want to delete my identity.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

808 days..

..and still counting.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I am tired...

...can't take it anymore.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Taare Zamen Par

Prologue: First and foremost, TZP is definitely a nice movie, but the following should be read keeping in mind that the blogger has been staying for 2 years now in a city that is starved of any form of entertainment, where people shout for 'subtitles' in a theatre while watching hindi movies and where you are treated to a plate of rasam-vada with a glass of beer. And oh yes! It is next to a Himalayan struggle to get a hindi movie ticket in Chennai!

9.45 PM: Arrive at the movie hall. Find out that my friends got tickets for TZP. The other hindi movie, Welcome, was houseful. Sounded weird.

10.00 PM: Once inside the movie hall, realize the ticket counter guy gave us tickets in such a way that we were split into 2 groups. Despite the fact all tickets were booked at the same time by one guy who had asked for 5 tickets. And the show was not houseful.

11.00 PM: My friend shouts out when the child actor is eating – 'Abe dekh yaar, woh bhi Idli nahi khaa raha hai'.

11.15 PM: Realized that the censor board made a mistake of awarding the 'U' rating. Two reasons: No.1 (not that good a reason): could have bad influence on kids – they could learn how to bunk classes, homework and also learn lots of devious tricks. And No.2 (oh yeah! This is the reason): It could scare the kids. No, they won't be scared by the movie, but by the parents who accompany the kids to the movie. Overheard from the back row : 'Beta dekha, boarding hai yeh. Yahan pe no mama, no papa, no dada, no didi. Agar koi baccha homework nahi karta hai, badmashi karta hai, unko boarding bheja jaata hai'. A stupefied silence from the kid said it all!

11.30 PM: As I sing in my mind 'Aajare, aaja re aaja...', the kid in the backseat blurted it out - 'Papa, Amir Khan kab aayega'.

11.35 PM: Ah, there he was, just before the interval – thought the entrance would be greeted by a cheer, but instead it was just the 3 of us, which made us sound like 'out of place'.

Post Interval : For most part, seriously 'Bolti Bandh'. Lend credence to the fact that in the opening credits, the child's name was shown before Amir's. However, it was not without its moments. My friend sitting beside me turns around to spot anyone who was crying. And I just could not understand why some people were clapping when the child displayed his craft and art skills. Maybe the tearful few can explain me.

Final credits: My friend shouts, 'Abe jaldi light jala, kaun kaun ro raha hai dekhna hai'.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

20-20!!

Ramble way before 20-20:This game has no future. Its a typical masala match. Lets send the fringe players to the Cup.

Common ramblings just before the start of the 20-20:Its for all those fringe teams. Its more open game, the smaller teams will go a long way.

After Zim beating the Oz and the Bangla team beating the Windies:See, told you. It gives these teams the freedom. They can win, they just need to do one thing right and do it right only for 20 overs - thats it!

After India and Pak beat Oz:These teams have finally proved their mettle. It takes a lot to beat the Aussies, and they have done it. Its a much improved Indian side (or Pak side). There is so much energy in the team.

After the final:A resplendent tournament. 20-20 has an amazing future. Its the start of a new era in cricket.
Pawar thinks - Nows my chance. Its a perfect platform for an NCP election rally.
State govts think - Well, the tax payers money is anyway roting in the Swiss Bank accounts, lets disburse them like a good samaritan.

I think - There may be a new 80-20 rule for cricket!
You think - Tell me. Is the tone:

a. Analytical
b. Cynic / Myopic
c. Disinterested
d. None of the above (if so, please mention).

Friday, August 17, 2007

GC on Kumble

Lets imagine a time one month from now. You are watching MTV, while during the break theres this trademark MTV contest which asks a question with trademark options which goes like this :

Who do you think will score a century on the England tour from India:
a)Either one of Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Sourav Ganguly.
b)Anil Kumble.

Hmm, what would have been your answer?Definitely not 'b', but if somebody did say 'b', he would have found himself in a month's time competing in a lucky draw with probably only 3 more correct answers - one each sent by Kumble's parents and his wife! Odds of winning a random contest never gets any better than this!

Its remarkable to learn that Kumble has scored a test century. I got to know about it only on the next day's newspaper and thought for a second 'duniya idhar se udhar ho gayi hai kya'! I have always referred to Kumble as 'Kana Kumble', whenever he would misfield, or drop a catch, or bowl a stupid delivery and assume that he has spun the bowl and numerous other occassions, even if the situation did not warrant the prefix including taking a whack at a wayward full toss only to find his middle stump uprooted. But now, Kumble, who till the other day was 'thought' of as a 'spinner' is now a test centurion (no quotes here)! I guess the Hindu newspaper was equally stunned, because this is what it carried as headline in its front page 'Kumble century denies India world record'.

I bet there was a particular person who went 'shits' with himself as he watched Kumble score a century. I belief this was the converstaion he would have had with his beer buddy as he saw Kumble score a century:

Mate: Hey GC, that blokes playing good, is he a batsman?
GC: Nopes mate, he is a bowler.
Mate: Ok, I get it, so he is an allrounder?
GC: Nopes, a bowler, who never could bat, though seeing him today, I think I could have groomed him as an all rounder. Shit! I didn't spot the potential in him!
Mate: Hmm, how did you miss him?
GC: Well, I was busy with some other bloke.
Mate: So that bloke was an all rounder?
GC: Nopes, that guy was a bowler, who swung his bat once in a while.
Mate: Ok, so you made him an allrounder?
Gc: Nopes, I could not, coz that bloke destroyed himself, now he can neither bat nor bowl.
Mate: Sad. So you think you could have made this bloke an allrounder and at the same time prevent this bloke from destroying himself?
GC: Yes. If I would have only done that we would have won the World Cup! And all this time, I was trying to brand this bloke as a test player!
Mate: I think you went pretty shit with all your decisions. So how come you didnt come back with any shit thrown on your face?
GC: Well because I always used Microsoft Powerpoint to present my matter to my previous employers. They went pretty bazookas on seeing slides. I could even hide the inefficiencies with them. I owe Bill Gates a lot for this.
Mate: Guess you needed a slide show to spot this bloke as well. By the way, how old is this bloke?
GC: Well, he is 36. Thank goodness I didnt ask him to retire, like I asked another guy to. I would have ended up with 2 eggs on my face instead of one!Mate: Well you could have always used Powerpoint, as you said.
Gc: Yups, I guess.(shouting to the bartender)Hey give us another round here. Tell you what mate, I think its time for Ricky Ponting to retire....

Friday, July 20, 2007

We are living in a Blackhole!!!(or maybe ???)

I have been hooked on to the book "Cosmos" by Carl Sagan for quite some weeks now. Its one of those books which I never got to read during my school or college days, but heck, better late than never!

Anyway, so there is this theory (hypothesis or a conjecture or an idea, it doesnt matter what you may call it) which amazed me. And it says, we are in a blackhole! Stunned? let me explain in as many words as the book does (go ahead and buy the book, its worth it, really!).

Wikipedia defines blackholes as "an object with a gravitational field so powerful that a region of space becomes cut off from the rest of the universe – no matter or radiation, including visible light that has entered the region can ever escape." Now consider this, if you are peering through a telescope into distances billions of light years away, and say you live for that many years. It may be possible, that after many billions of years, you will be looking at the back of your head.How, well light reflected from the back of your head traverses the entire cosmos and you look at it through the telescope! Light does not escape the cosmos,nor can we, so are we not in a blackhole?
Now you may argue that light travels in a straight line in vacuum!Well, light travels in a straight line only in 3 dimensions as we percieve it. How do you know that in dimensions higher than 3, it doesnt bends, or distorts and reaches the same spot after the billions of years that it takes to traverse the cosmos?

An analogy, I will use the same that the book does. Suppose you and everything on earth is 2-D. You have a sense of forward-backward, right-left but no up and down.Now in this 2-D existence of yours you walk straight, and after walking for thousands of kilometres, instead of reaching an edge as you would wish in your 2-D picture of earth, you end up where you started from! Now coming back, you are definitely not stuck in 2-D, but we definitely are stuck in 3-D. So maybe if we had a sense of higher dimensions, we would see light bending! And maybe much more, like say if we were 2-D creatures, we wouldnt have seen birds, and likewise, maybe we do not percieve many creatures who maybe visible in higher dimensions? We see only their projections in 3D and do not understand what they are or why do they even exist or what they are doing or why they are doing what they are doing...I think you get the idea (btw their projections may look like this in 2D).

Food for thought? Let me know! In the meanwhile, look around you if you were curious whats in a blackhole.

WTF